I love being a mom. I love being the center of their worlds as much as they are mine. As such, I have held a super power - healing. Until recently, not matter how Jordan got hurt, a kiss from me and he was up and better. But things are changing. He is getting older. He understands more. Now when I kiss his pain, he looks at me with a questioning face and says, "it still hurts..."
Fortunately, whenever Evan gets hurt he puts his hand on his head (no matter where he is hurt) and runs to me for a magical kiss, the kind that makes him all better.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Who are you?
We lost our cable a couple weeks ago so I find myself watching shows every once in a while that I normally wouldn't. The other day it was Dr. Phil (my husband hates Dr. Phil, so I guess a little has rubbed off...) The former Miss Washington was on speaking about how pictures were stolen off her computer, put on the internet, and used against her ending in losing her title. They were taken on an evening with friends when she was being "silly" as she said. She was flipping off the camera, drinking, etc while wearing her crown. She defended herself by saying that she should not be judged by things she does with good friends, when no one else is watching - it isn't who she really is.
Her argument reminded me of a quote I found when I was reading a conference talk the other day:
"We need to be aquainted with the promptings of the Holy Ghost, and we need to practice and apply gospel teachings until they become natural and automatic... Elder Oaks said, 'Testimony is to know and to feel, conversion is to do and to become.'" - Elder Allan F. Packer
I think the essence of who we are is who we become based on what we believe and practice. And that is what you do and are at all times, when people are looking and when people are not. So if you behave some way, in any circumstance, that is a part of who you are. (As an aside, I know we all make mistakes and sometimes do things we regret...I am speaking here generally.) I know that as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I hope that my actions, thoughts, speech and behavior, are consistant at all times with my beliefs and testimony of Jesus Christ and his gospel. As we are converted more and more, who we become will be what we believe. I love that.
Her argument reminded me of a quote I found when I was reading a conference talk the other day:
"We need to be aquainted with the promptings of the Holy Ghost, and we need to practice and apply gospel teachings until they become natural and automatic... Elder Oaks said, 'Testimony is to know and to feel, conversion is to do and to become.'" - Elder Allan F. Packer
I think the essence of who we are is who we become based on what we believe and practice. And that is what you do and are at all times, when people are looking and when people are not. So if you behave some way, in any circumstance, that is a part of who you are. (As an aside, I know we all make mistakes and sometimes do things we regret...I am speaking here generally.) I know that as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I hope that my actions, thoughts, speech and behavior, are consistant at all times with my beliefs and testimony of Jesus Christ and his gospel. As we are converted more and more, who we become will be what we believe. I love that.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Influence
I saw a commercial the other day that set me off thinking. It showed a family together in a room that was full of the father's guitars. One of the daughters, who was about 8 or 9 years old was wearing guitar earings and singing into a microphone. My first thought was that she must like guitars because her father does. I know, not terribly profound. But I thought of all the things that I liked, disliked, and such that were influenced by my parents.
When I was younger my dad and I watched sports together, especially NASCAR. I loved NASCAR - in fact, I still get all excited when I see it. I know I liked it because my dad did. And I love the memories of experiencing that together.
Our interests and passions influence our children. I felt a bit overwhelmed by this whole thought process. What will I pass on to my kids. What do I like that they will like? Music, politics, silliness (well, that one for sure!) Then I remembered an experience I had as a teenager.
My mom has always been a great example to me of faith. I remembered her always reading her scriptures, having gospel discussions with me, getting excited for temple trips, and the like. One Sunday, I think when we were close to moving from Maine, we had testimony meeting in Young Women, where my mom was president. I bore mine and I remember one of the leaders commenting that my testimony reminded them of my mother. I was so proud. I hope that among all those things that I might influence my kids to like, that foremost is to love the gospel and have unwavering faith. I know without a doubt that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true, and I hope they will too.
When I was younger my dad and I watched sports together, especially NASCAR. I loved NASCAR - in fact, I still get all excited when I see it. I know I liked it because my dad did. And I love the memories of experiencing that together.
Our interests and passions influence our children. I felt a bit overwhelmed by this whole thought process. What will I pass on to my kids. What do I like that they will like? Music, politics, silliness (well, that one for sure!) Then I remembered an experience I had as a teenager.
My mom has always been a great example to me of faith. I remembered her always reading her scriptures, having gospel discussions with me, getting excited for temple trips, and the like. One Sunday, I think when we were close to moving from Maine, we had testimony meeting in Young Women, where my mom was president. I bore mine and I remember one of the leaders commenting that my testimony reminded them of my mother. I was so proud. I hope that among all those things that I might influence my kids to like, that foremost is to love the gospel and have unwavering faith. I know without a doubt that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true, and I hope they will too.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Inspiration
I read this quote tonight, and was so inspired. This is what I want to be:
“God planted within women something divine that expresses itself in quiet strength, in refinement, in peace, in goodness, in virtue, in truth, in love. And all of these remarkable qualities find their truest and most satisfying expression in motherhood.” –Gordon B. Hinckley
Life gets challenging and sometimes I am not who I want to be. I get frustrated more than I want to when the boys won't listen, I am impatient more often than I want and can see so many things I want to improve. I find, though, that when I remember who I could be, it is easier for me to be it. Does that make sense? What I mean is that when I remember the divine nature and potential that I have as a woman, I want to live up to it. I want to find a little more patience, be a little kinder, be calmer, do a little more. I want to be incredibly good. So, here is my inspiration, my quest to be better, to live up to what my Heavenly Father wants me to be, and what I want to be. And most importantly, I am going to try harder to be the mother I want to be. Wish me luck!
“God planted within women something divine that expresses itself in quiet strength, in refinement, in peace, in goodness, in virtue, in truth, in love. And all of these remarkable qualities find their truest and most satisfying expression in motherhood.” –Gordon B. Hinckley
Life gets challenging and sometimes I am not who I want to be. I get frustrated more than I want to when the boys won't listen, I am impatient more often than I want and can see so many things I want to improve. I find, though, that when I remember who I could be, it is easier for me to be it. Does that make sense? What I mean is that when I remember the divine nature and potential that I have as a woman, I want to live up to it. I want to find a little more patience, be a little kinder, be calmer, do a little more. I want to be incredibly good. So, here is my inspiration, my quest to be better, to live up to what my Heavenly Father wants me to be, and what I want to be. And most importantly, I am going to try harder to be the mother I want to be. Wish me luck!
Monday, May 11, 2009
What a day.
My day today was...well...less than great. It was just one of those days.
The day actually started pretty well. The boys woke up before 6:00, but Mike got up with them and woke me up at 7:30 with breakfast because we weren't home yesterday for Mother's Day. That was pretty nice.
Next, I needed to run errands. Most importantly, I needed to get light-blocking curtains for the boys' rooms so they will sleep past 5:45 am! So, I went to Target because I needed to get a couple of other things there too. And Evan fussed the whole time. And they didn't have curtains. So off to Ross. Found two curtain rods, one missing screws, but that made it really cheap. Jordan screamed (literally) the whole time. Went to Walmart, got curtains. Jordan screamed the whole time.
Then, after lunch, we all took a nap.
After the boys woke up I decided to fix our vacuum that broke last week. I started it up and our house filled with burned rubber smoke. It wasn't the belt that was the problem but I burned through another one. Now here is where the next problem for the day is - we are not handy people. So, since I didn't know what could be the problem, I headed back to Target, because in trying to fix the vacuum, I dumped a bunch of dust and dirt on the floor thinking I would just vacuum it up! Jordan and Evan both screamed the whole time on this trip. I bought a vacuum then got to talk to my mom. We came up with what was wrong with my other vacuum and I fixed it! Then it broke again, leaving junk all over the carpet I just vacuumed. Good times.
Oh, and did I mention Evan's 4 dirty diapers and Jordan's 2 for the day?
Then Mike got home and after dinner we tried to hang the curtains that I chased down this morning. And, after one broken drill bit and half a screw broken into the wall, we gave up for the evening.
After the boy's bath and prayer I was just sitting on the floor too exhausted and frustrated with my day to get up yet. Then Jordan came over and tried to make me laugh and smile. And it worked.
Sometimes I get overwhelmed with how hard everything is to do with kids, especially my kids. They aren't the sit quiet types. Anyway, they always remind me how worth it it is to be a mom. It is a sacrifice. Things are harder. And sometimes I really just don't want to deal with them. But I am always so happy that they are mine, that I get be with them every day.
The day actually started pretty well. The boys woke up before 6:00, but Mike got up with them and woke me up at 7:30 with breakfast because we weren't home yesterday for Mother's Day. That was pretty nice.
Next, I needed to run errands. Most importantly, I needed to get light-blocking curtains for the boys' rooms so they will sleep past 5:45 am! So, I went to Target because I needed to get a couple of other things there too. And Evan fussed the whole time. And they didn't have curtains. So off to Ross. Found two curtain rods, one missing screws, but that made it really cheap. Jordan screamed (literally) the whole time. Went to Walmart, got curtains. Jordan screamed the whole time.
Then, after lunch, we all took a nap.
After the boys woke up I decided to fix our vacuum that broke last week. I started it up and our house filled with burned rubber smoke. It wasn't the belt that was the problem but I burned through another one. Now here is where the next problem for the day is - we are not handy people. So, since I didn't know what could be the problem, I headed back to Target, because in trying to fix the vacuum, I dumped a bunch of dust and dirt on the floor thinking I would just vacuum it up! Jordan and Evan both screamed the whole time on this trip. I bought a vacuum then got to talk to my mom. We came up with what was wrong with my other vacuum and I fixed it! Then it broke again, leaving junk all over the carpet I just vacuumed. Good times.
Oh, and did I mention Evan's 4 dirty diapers and Jordan's 2 for the day?
Then Mike got home and after dinner we tried to hang the curtains that I chased down this morning. And, after one broken drill bit and half a screw broken into the wall, we gave up for the evening.
After the boy's bath and prayer I was just sitting on the floor too exhausted and frustrated with my day to get up yet. Then Jordan came over and tried to make me laugh and smile. And it worked.
Sometimes I get overwhelmed with how hard everything is to do with kids, especially my kids. They aren't the sit quiet types. Anyway, they always remind me how worth it it is to be a mom. It is a sacrifice. Things are harder. And sometimes I really just don't want to deal with them. But I am always so happy that they are mine, that I get be with them every day.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
It all started with one day.
Four years ago, we were married. It was a perfect day...well except for the temple guide that kept harshly telling me what to do! We had a brunch, were married, and had our reception. We were surrounded by friends and family. We were happy.I think of how different our lives are now. We have moved two times, Mike has a Master's degree, we have aged and have experienced four years of married life - we have become one. Most of all, we have our amazing little boys. It is hard to imagine that the two people in this picture don't know Jordan's happy, social little self, or Evan's thoughtful, silly personality.
I think that is the most amazing thing about the Plan of Salvation - it truly is the plan of happiness. To know that what was started that day, forming an eternal bond, means that we have sealed our children to us forever, those children we only hoped for then. And that makes us truly happy.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
One hot summer week...
We have been running fans here a lot lately because it is already in the 90's, and I have to say that I love the sound of a fan. It is a happy summer sound. But now that sound always takes me back to one moment in time - the week after Jordan was born.
Jordan was born at the end of June in Oregon during a heat wave. Some friends of ours in the ward were so kind to us and gave us an air conditioner for our window. We were so grateful for that air conditioner because we could keep our newborn cool and happy. Anyway, my delivery with Jordan was pretty awful. Hours and hours of laboring, 4 1/2 hours of pushing and finally a c-section. Needless to say, I felt horrible. But that week after he was born is still one of my happiest memories. My mom was in town to help, which meant taking care of me (there is something wonderful about being taken care of by your mom, no matter how old you are). I had my sweet little Jordan and Mike was at home with us taking a bit of a break from school. So, my mind has wandered to that happy time many, many times lately, and I am so glad to have such a happy memory.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
What I can do
As I have said before, I used to be really active in the Republican Party when I was in college. But after I married and had kids, I turned off politics. I found myself too riled up all the time and needed a break. But then something changed. I think a lot of times we women generally focus inward towards our families. However, the way things are going, we can’t ignore what the government is doing that not only threaten our country, but our families as well. And so I want to get involved again. But I found that I’m not sure where I fit. I am a conservative but the Republican Party is getting less and less conservative. On the other hand I do feel that government is good for some things, just not as much as they think they are good for.
So I talked with Mike about what I want to do. I want to be involved again, but in what and doing what? Then I had a thought. I think that whether or not you believe the two-party system is good or bad, it is here to stay. But, what if we try to influence the party we feel most closely resembles what we believe, starting at the bottom? We get involved in our precincts, go to conventions where party platforms and candidates are decided. Vote in our primaries, propose changes to party ideas, run for local office if possible. If people do this, we can change the direction of our party and hopefully our state and country.
Anyway, that is my idea and I can do it while taking care of my family.
So I talked with Mike about what I want to do. I want to be involved again, but in what and doing what? Then I had a thought. I think that whether or not you believe the two-party system is good or bad, it is here to stay. But, what if we try to influence the party we feel most closely resembles what we believe, starting at the bottom? We get involved in our precincts, go to conventions where party platforms and candidates are decided. Vote in our primaries, propose changes to party ideas, run for local office if possible. If people do this, we can change the direction of our party and hopefully our state and country.
Anyway, that is my idea and I can do it while taking care of my family.
Friday, May 1, 2009
The little things
I am so happy to be a stay-at-home mom. I have been reading Dr. Laura's new book, and I am going to talk about that more later (exciting, huh!) But I have been thinking a lot lately about how much I love being at home and hearing Jordan develop. He says the funniest things.
For example, today I was changing yet another dirty diaper - seriously, it can't be normal how many dirty diapers I change in a day - and Jordan walked up to Evan and said, "no more dirty diapers today Evan!"
Earlier that day he was telling me he wanted "a different else." I love that he gets what things mean and experiments with putting them together.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I love being here to hear these little moments. Maybe they seem mundane, but to me they are extraordinary.
Then tonight I watched my boys play with their dad. They laughed and ran and had such a good time. And I can tell you that there in NO other joy greater than watching your family be happy together. No "me time" activity is better than being in a happy home together. And I am so grateful to give my time - full time - to that pursuit.
For example, today I was changing yet another dirty diaper - seriously, it can't be normal how many dirty diapers I change in a day - and Jordan walked up to Evan and said, "no more dirty diapers today Evan!"
Earlier that day he was telling me he wanted "a different else." I love that he gets what things mean and experiments with putting them together.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I love being here to hear these little moments. Maybe they seem mundane, but to me they are extraordinary.
Then tonight I watched my boys play with their dad. They laughed and ran and had such a good time. And I can tell you that there in NO other joy greater than watching your family be happy together. No "me time" activity is better than being in a happy home together. And I am so grateful to give my time - full time - to that pursuit.
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