Hitting my stride...

So, I am kind of ashamed to admit it, but I think I finally hit my stride with this whole stay-at-home mom thing. It only took me two and a half years, but I have arrived...I think. I realized some things this past week that have helped me eliminate a lot of the stress I have felt, leaving me to enjoy my boys. We had a great week last week.

Here is what I learned.

1. The big kahuna idea that freed me the most from my stress (and unfortunately something Mike has been telling me all along, so a lot of told-you-so moments coming on here...) - it is okay for the boys to fuss. That's it. Evan screams a lot, like a whole lot. And whenever I try to do anything they fuss, cry, ask for everything under the sun, etc. I felt like I needed to always be tending to them to be a good mom because I could make them feel better. Well, I started practicing for the orchestra I'm going to be doing because I really need to. So, I have had to ignore both of them so that I can. (I'm not talking about ignoring basic needs and injuries or leaving them to be reckless. I'm talking about them playing happily with toys so I pull out my flute, leading them to get mad that I am doing something that isn't somehow related to them.) In fact, the other day Jordan climbed up on me and pushed my flute away and told me to leave it alone. But, I have to practice. And eventually they give up or I just deal with it until I am done. And they are okay. So, I tried this with dishes, laundry, phone calls, reading. Pretty great. I got so much more done this week, leading me to feel better about what I had done and how I felt in my home.

2. It is what it is. I used to get frustrated a lot that I was putting the boys to bed by myself again, or that I needed to get some errands done but the boys were being so incredibly difficult, or Mike was running late again, or the boys were screaming in the tub AGAIN, etc. It all sounds so silly, but when it consumes your whole day, all your energy, all your sanity it seems more devastating. But it doesn't bother me now. It is what it is. And I can do it. And it is okay. I feel so much more relaxed now. And I think that is really influencing the boys. We had a good week last week.

3. Everything doesn't have to be done fast. I have always done things fast. I don't know why, but I just like to do something and be done. But kids aren't like that. So I would get frustrated that it would take Jordan 15-20 minutes to eat a piece of cheese. But now I realize that there really is no rush on most things in life. And I love it. We just took our time enjoying things and we had a great week.

4. Realize that I do a lot. I look around me often and feel like other moms are so much more together than I am, do so much more with their kids, and are just plain better at it all. But I decided to step back and look at what I do. I started taking Jordan to the library for story time, we go to the children's museum, I arrange play group every week, I spend my whole day (except the little bit I spend on other things mentioned in number 1!) playing, singing, dancing, making silly faces, talking, drawing, and reading with the boys. I make dinner every night...okay, most nights. I make sure the boys have everything they need and a lot of what they want, and I bargain shop constantly so we can have said things. Now, I know I could do better, and I am trying, but I needed to give myself some credit for what I do. And it actually took stress away because I stopped thinking that I needed to do more. And we had a great week doing all those things.

So, I am really excited for tomorrow. I am going to play with my boys, run an errand, play my flute, clean up and have a good time enjoying my family and home. And, I will keep my shoulders relaxed and enjoy a knot-free back! Monday, here I come!