Two things making my life easier...

I have discovered two things that have made things a lot easier for me.

The first:

Now normally I might think that such a shortcut was really too much - just make your own rice already! But this is so cool. I tried one just to see and it comes out perfect. So, next time Mike is at school and it is time for dinner and Evan is pulling on my pants and Jordan is pushing me away from the stove, I will just pop one of these in the microwave to go with my dinner that is hopefully ready in the crockpot! (By the way, the vegetables are really good too! Oh, and they are on sale at our Walmart right now for only $1!)

The second:

The first few days of weaning Jordan from sleeping with his pacifier were a little rough. But one night when he wouldn't calm down and go to sleep, I decided to see if a car would do (he LOVES his cars...) He said he wanted one. Now every nap and bedtime he wants a car to sleep with. No more screaming or crying! Ah, sweet peace.

The influence of others

Jordan loves going to nursery at church. He gets so excited when we get to church that sometimes we have a really hard time getting him to sit through Sacrament meeting. I know that a large part of this is because of the nursery leader - Sister Todd. Can I tell you how amazing she is? She is so patient with the kids and you can tell that she genuinely loves her calling. She gets down and plays with the kids and lets them all know that they are important to her. I am so grateful that she is there.

We decided that at the beginning of this year we want to have our FHE lessons from the nursery manual every week. So, tonight we went over the lesson they had yesterday. In the middle of talking to Jordan about how he is a child of God, he excitedly said, "Sister Todd!" He remembered that she taught him that same lesson yesterday. I understand more now the importance of not only the influence of others around us, but of joyfully fulfilling your calling at church. Thank you everyone for your influence on my family!

Less (re)learned

My freshman year at BYU was a great time in my life. I had so much fun, made a ton of new friends, and learned a lot. But, one lesson took me the whole year to learn, and I confess that I still have to reteach it to myself.
That year was the first time I remember really thinking about what made me me and others them. I remember my friends being so excited to go a dance/social on campus. Having friends over to play games sounded a whole lot better to me. I joined College Republicans. I wasn't too concerned about my clothes or my makeup. I was still close with my parents. I couldn't stand being late to meetings, so I went by myself and saved seats a lot. I guess that year was the first time I began wondering if it was okay to be me, or if I was supposed to be like others.
Finally, at the beginning of my second year at BYU I decided that it was okay to be me. If I didn't feel like forcing myself to enjoy a packed room with blaring music, then I just didn't go, and that was okay. I found joy in my activities, friends, and everything I did. And it seemed that the less I cared if I was okay as I was, the more I was accepted.
Fast forward to three years ago. Mike and I were married and expecting Jordan. We were in a real live family ward now, not a BYU singles or married ward. I felt so intimidated. Here were so many accomplished, talented, smart, good women around me. My lesson finally learned slipped away. I started wondering who I was and what I should be. She runs, so I should too (man, I hate running though!) Her house is always clean, why do I have such a hard time keeping on top of it? She thinks that, she likes that, she does that... And trust me, it went on and on and on. I become introverted, shy, timid, self-conscious.
And now I am here. Mother of two, wife of a student, and me. After almost forgetting who I am, I am trying to learn my lesson again - I am me, and that's okay. I like what I like, I do what I enjoy, I parent how I feel is best, my weaknesses are mine. And that's okay. I have been waiting for people to tell me this - "Erica, you are you, and that is great.*" But, you know what? It doesn't matter. I need to be happy with who and what I am. No more comparing. I really enjoy reading blogs, but it seems that everyone is so organized, so creative, so perfect. Well, I am me. And no matter how hard I try right now, my house still looks like this:

Yep, that's as good as it gets, and that's okay. Neither creative nor beautiful, but it is what works for my kids.
Now, accepting me for me isn't to say that it is okay to be content with my weaknesses too. I hope that I am trying every day to not only be me, but the best me possible. And if I am, then that is great.

*Thanks to my mom for telling me this my whole life!

Lesson in parenting - doing what is best

Today is day one of the pacifier weaning. There has been much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth...by everyone involved. In fact, I am listening to both boys cry right now. There are many times that I wish I could just give my boys everything that will make them happy. But I know that is not possible. My body can't physically hold them all day (nor could my sanity handle it!) I can't let Jordan eat candy or chocolate or fruit snacks all day. And they need to be happy without their pacifiers. Oh, but they find such comfort from them! But this is what is best for them! But isn't making them happy what is best for them? Will they be happy when they are at college still sleeping with a pacifier? Maybe! Okay, I guess not. So, I'm learning this lesson again - sometimes it seems counterintuitive - that doing what is best for your children isn't always what makes them happy in the moment. *deep breath* I can do this...

And hopefully soon I'll be seeing more of this -

I remember watching The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe when I was younger. To me it was always a kid's movie. I guess I was too young to understand then. I suppose that is why, when the new movie came out a few years ago, I definitely wasn't running out to see it. But I did. And I loved it. Then the second movie came out. We just watched it while we were in Utah this past week and I can say that I more than loved it. These movies were not just entertaining. They were spiritual to me. I got so much out of them and felt so full after watching both.

I remember when Mike and I saw The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. We must have received free movie tickets because we were at a theatre. This was in Portland, Oregon, a place that is not exactly Christian friendly. While sitting in that room, we understood the story C.S. Lewis described. We saw the atonement of Christ, His compassion and love for man. Our potential as children of God, aka sons of Adam and daughters of Eve. We couldn't help but wonder what others in that room would think if they knew the importance of the real message being presented to them that day. Would they feel the joy we felt knowing that just as Aslan freed the people of Narnia from wickedness, Christ had done the same for us on this earth? Would they rejoice even more knowing that no matter what, the cunning of evil could never triumph over the love of Christ?

A couple years later, as I watched Prince Caspian, I couldn't help but feel those same emotions of joy. Knowing that we, through Christ, have power to overcome anything. That, as Lucy was the seemingly weakest among the characters, she was the strongest because of her faith. That as Aslan returned, so too will Christ.

I decided, as part of my goal to read more, I am going to read the Chronicles of Narnia series. There is no doubt in my mind that C.S. Lewis was an inspired writer. I have begun the first. The recounting of the creation of Narnia is beautiful. I can't wait to read all seven books, to partake of their message. To be entertained and inspired.

My goal setting goal...

I have never been one to set new years resolutions. I don’t know why, but for some reason it seems too cliché to do. But then again, I have never been good at goal setting. I just plan and do things. If I do set a goal, I don’t beat myself up if I don’t do it (I am hard on myself about enough things already, so I guess I let something slide by!) But this year is going to be different. I want to set goals and accomplish them, even with two little boys under foot. So, for 2009, I am going to set nine goals.

1. The first, of course, must be the most important. I am setting a goal to set and accomplish goals. I will accomplish the goals that I make here, and you all will be my witnesses to whom I will be accountable!

2. I want to be more productive with my down time, which is when the boys are in bed. Usually by the end of the day I am exhausted…those boys run me ragged all day! So, I don’t accomplish as much as I would like. Anyway, I know that this is more of a qualitative goal, which is hard to measure. So, to make it more quantitative, I will clean or create one thing each night.

3. Each weekend, I want to sit down with my planner and plan the week ahead. I will write down meals for each day so I know what I need to prepare for (a lot of times when I am planning a crock pot meal, I don’t remember until it is too late!) I will also make a list of everything that needs to be done that week so I can check them off when I get chances to do one.

4. Both of our boys need to be weaned from pacifiers. Jordan still sleeps with his, so we need to take it away in January. And, we want to take Evan’s away this month too, except for sleeping. Wish us luck on this one!

5. Jordan will be potty trained. Oh, how I am scared about this one! I don’t even know where to begin. But it will be done…soon!

6. I will consistently read my scriptures every day.

7. I will read at least one book a month. I am excited to do this because I have really enjoyed reading lately. I am starting with the Chronicles of Narnia series!

8. I want to blog more often. I really want to be able to write down my feelings about life here on this blog… and hey, it is easier than writing in a journal!

9. I want to read at least two books to the boys every day. I do read to them, but not as consistently as I would like. So, I will do better!

Well, there they are. You are my witnesses now. I know that changes don’t happen over night, but these are my goals for 2009. Happy New Year everyone!

Home sweet Home

On Sunday I left home to come home. We went to Utah for Thanksgiving with my family and had a wonderful time. Not only is Utah home because my family is there, but because I absolutely adore Utah. I love so many things about it. I cannot wait for the day when we can settle there and be home when we are at home.
I love the feeling I get when I am in Utah. I feel like I belong, like I fit in, like I am safe, and I feel extremely happy. I love the mountains, the seasons, the people, the memories, the canyons, all the activities to do, the zoo, Salt Lake City, Utah county, the country, being at the center of the Church and so much more. And I love being surrounded by so many LDS people. I know there are people who think that is awful, but I just don't understand it. It is wonderful to be around so many people that share your beliefs and values and way of life. I didn't grow up in Utah and I had many great friends and experiences, but I want to raise my family in Utah. I know it isn't perfect, but it is great, and it is home.